30 July 2008

Mr. Doc said I need to take more vitamins and include more red meat in my diet because I don't have enough iron! And he said I looked pale. Goo goo gaga. That explains my extreme fatigue and weakness during my time of the month, every time. He also said, " We are not robots . . . everyone is different, some people get cramps . .. ". That encouraged me. :) I wished I was some superhuman, some robot, that never falls sick, never be tired, but I'm just not. I'm human. So this human being needs to include more beef and pork in her diet even though she doesn't particularly fancy them. =X

Bring me the steak! GAH!

14 Feb 2005 is likely to be the first and the last time I donate blood. You'll know why when u read what I blogged about the experience in my previous blog (I wrote this when I was 17 years old yeah? =) ) :


The nurse took my blood pressure again and told me to squeeze the ball on my right hand real tight so that my vein will "xian shen". But I couldn't (maybe I was too scared). I then exclaimed that my prick was painful.

"Aiyoh. People go for operation more painful than this," the nurse attempted to comfort me (no use). ORH.The nurse then handed me the Post Donation Instructions For Blood Donors and iron tablets(to be taken once daily for the next 2 weeks). She went to attend to other matters and left me to relax and prepare myself for the real, the real painful deal. Approximately 5 mins later (meanwhile I prayed), she came back and removed the measuring blood pressure armband which was really tight on my arms. She demonstrated how hard to squeeze the ball. She said I have to cooperate so that she can insert the needle easily (my first time mah). She applied iodine on the site. My heart was pounding. The climax was coming. She injected the painkiller. PAIN! Talk about a pain free procedure. The painkiller was more like a "pain giver" to me. "That's only the painkiller". RIGHT. My right arm began to lose sensation and feel numb. One minute later, the time has come for the blood suction to take place. I shut my eyes tight and panicked.

"Don't close your eyes! Breathe!" The nurse loudly instructed. I opened my mouth and pathetically tried to gulp in some air. The needle went into my skin and vein. It was much more bearable then the painkiller. Phew! By this time, Mr Quek had noticed the commotion and came over.

"Mr Quek, talk to me!" I pleaded.

"It's ok, the blood is flowing already. First time, you will be afraid. Subsequent times will be easier."

"Oh ok...Mr Quek, why didn't you donate blood this time?"

"I donated in January at the Red Cross Blood Bank. It was my 74th time." My jaw dropped and my eyes opened wide.

"74 times?? Wow...", I was amazed. My admiration of him just upped a level. I wondered if I will ever donate blood a second time. While my blood was still flowing into the bag, I began to think that donating blood isn't as easy as I thought it to be. Maybe I just haven got the hang of it. Then I thought about Jesus. How much blood did He lose for my sake? A lot. How much pain did He have to go through? Definitely a hundred and ten times more excruciating than mine. God is so good to me.

Another nurse came to collect the bag when it was filled. 300 ml doesn't seem a lot. No no, every single ml of blood counts and matter to the one who is in need of it. The removing of the needle was alright and I was looking forward to the bandaging part. (You'll know why as u read on! ;) ) Then came the drama. The nurse commented that I looked pale and lowered the armchair for me to lie down. I was feeling thirsty and requested for water. I quickly sipped the water and closed my eyes (this time to rest!). A few minutes later I was awakened by someone calling me. It was Clement. He was sitting on an armchair a metre away, waiting to be attended. It was his first time donating blood too.

"You look real dead lah", he exclaimed. I looked at him with an "Are-you-serious??" expression plastered across my face.

"Do I look really pale?" I questioned. He nodded. I reckoned having a real pale, dead-looking person lying beside you just before you are about to donate blood for the first time doesn't help. Oops.

In the next 10 mins that I rested, 3 nurses came to ask me if I was feeling okay at least twice each!

"Are you giddy?", one nurse asked."I think not", came the unconvincing reply. I requested the nurse to help me up my seat. She supported me all the way to the Refreshment Lounge even though I told her I could walk. She's being professional I guess.

There were no more empty chairs. This guy, whom I happened to take notice of last Fri ,very gentlemanly gave up his seat for me. He's rather good-looking. All I know is that he is in Canoeing and he's in the same History lecture at me. I dunno his name or which class he is in! Funny how I seem to recognise people by their CCAs.

"You want Milo? " He asked. I nodded. He then helped me to take out the straw and poke it into the packet (lol).

"Biscuits?" He offered. I paused for 5 seemingly long seconds, pondering whether I should just take it myself, not eat any or accept his offer. I succumbed.

"Can I have the other kind?" I requested. Again he helped me to open the packet and handed it to me. I thanked him sincerely, grateful that this sweet guy has helped a stranger like me to do three wonderfully ''ti tie'' things. He sure did give me a good first impression. For the next one minute we did not converse and it was a tiny bit awkward sitting beside him. He had to go.

"Bye." I tried to sound as friendly as I possibly could.

Afterwards, I saw Kenny walking towards the Lounge area and I offered him the only empty seat beside me.

"No thanks. I'm late for class." He said in a somewhat serious tone. He grabbed a drink and left. I felt kind of convicted. Kenny rushed to go to his lesson and here I am taking my own sweet time to rest when I had a class going on. I sped up to finish my refreshments. I grabbed one last packet of mineral water (my fourth, each 230ml) and went back to class. Only 300ml of blood and I need a replacement of so much water? Water is my element. Period.

Back in class, they were doing a PC assignment titled - The Use Of Force. Mr Pang told me to take a breather instead of work "vigorously". Both Pei Ru and Karnjote mentioned that I look really pale and asked me if I was feeling alright. Geez. I guess I'm not feeling that alright after all. So much for being convicted. I should have stayed longer to rest. Silly me.

I'm glad that I plucked up the courage to go for the donation and find that this day is most memorable. It is an experience more special and rewarding than any movie or date can offer, don't you think (wow I had such a mature thought at 17, hahaha)?


This human being needs to get healthier. I need iron man (pun intended)! =D

29 July 2008

I officially moved out of Hall 3 today cos the owner is back. It's been great staying there for the last 2 months. =) Big thanks to Charlene for letting me stay in her room! Her bf is surprising her with a bouquet of 12 pink roses to welcome her back from Denmark! How sweet. =)

I'll miss:
  • the peace and quiet in campus
  • the free outgoing campus calls
  • waking up only at 7am
  • taking only 20 mins to reach sch
  • the TV Lounge where I catch Superband and So You Think You Can Dance on Monday nights, read the Straits Times and sing at the top of my voice like nobody's business (when no one is around of course ;) )
  • travelling to sch tgt with Joelle and En Yao Kor Kor and really being salt and LIGHT... Heh. =P

Now the challenge is to be early for school for the next 19 days! Just 3 more weeks to graduation, woo hoo!

And look what I received in my inbox today:

Congrats! You have been nominated for the following ExCo position(s) in the upcoming MDIS SC 2008 elections:
- Communications Secretary (2 nominations)
- Deputy Secretary (External Affairs) (1 nomination)
- Events Secretary (1 nomination)


You are now required to email the following to mdisscelections@gmail.com:
1) Please let us know your estimated graduation year and month (eg: 2009 June)
2) You are required to submit ONE essay to tell us why you should be an ExCo member in the following Word document format: Font in Arial or Times New Roman, font size 12, 1.5 line spacing, word limit 200 to 300 words.
3) All emails must reach by August 4th 2008, 11.59pm. If you are late, SC will regard that you have given up on this nomination(s).
4) Please remember that all questions have to emailed to
mdis.studentcouncil@gmail.com.

I wonder who voted for me and whether I'm gonna go ahead for the positions!

The first sentence she said to me after I came back to her house was that of mockery. I'm disappointed with her. And she wonders why I'm hardly at home.

m*r* omg monsta! sent 28/07/2008 16:17:
hi wendy
m*r* omg monsta! sent 28/07/2008 16:18:
havent seen u online in awhile. u must have blocked me huh. anyways i hope u're doing fine. i hope to see u on superband next year. :)


I didn't block you but I've made a decision to not talk to you, at least for the next few months and I'm just sticking to the decision I made. Sorry, but I've got to be cruel to be kind. This will be good for the both of us eventually. I hope you understand. And no, I won't be joining Superband. You study hard.

It's the 2nd day of my that time of the month and I'm trying to not pull my hair.

27 July 2008

I'll be glued to the tv screen at 8pm tmr to catch 非常Superband II. Below is my fave performance from Dreamfactory thus far! They did a fantastic rendition of 哭砂. The song was first released in 1986 . . .




哭砂

你是我最苦涩的等待
让我欢喜又害怕未来
你最爱说你是一颗尘埃
偶尔会恶作剧的飘进我眼里

宁愿我哭泣
不让我爱你
你就真的象尘埃消失在风里

你是我最痛苦的抉择
为何你从不放弃漂泊?
海对你是那么难分难舍
你总是带回满口袋的砂给我

难得来看我
却又离开我
让那手中泄落的砂象泪水流

风吹来的砂落在悲伤的眼里
谁都看出我在等你
风吹来的砂堆积在心里
是谁也抛不去的痕迹

风吹来的砂穿过所有的记忆
谁都知道我在想你
风吹来的砂冥冥在哭泣
难道早就预言了分离?

I could really relate to the song and the emotions behind it. =) ALL THE WAY GUYS!

21 July 2008

20 July 2008

With You, I'll walk this narrow way. I want to be the few that will ever find it.

My life can afford to be more happening!

Contented but dissatisfied!

There is MORE!

RAWR!

18 July 2008

My students didn't wanna have tuition today and the overnight pm was postponed to next Fri so that can only mean one thing for me - time to catch The Dark Knight in the cinema! =D After my somewhat horrid movie experience two weeks ago, this was vital entertainment for my soul! ;)



If you're interested about the movie but have not caught it yet, go watch it already! It's really very good. I would give it 4 and maybe even 4.5 out of 5 stars. It's as good as Iron Man but the plot of this movie is so much more complicated and full of twists and turns! It requires intellectual understanding on your part!

My favorite moment in the movie is when the convict threw the detonator in the sea! =) I like how Joker's social experiment failed, how it shows humanity still has a heart and conscience against all odds. I like how Batman is willing to sacrifice his reputation and his security in order that the citizens of Gotham may still have hope for the future. I like how righteousness prevailed in the superhero despite the trying circumstances that were present. I love to watch Superhero movies like these! =)

Had a good time with Vanessa, Francis and gang even though it was just a short 3 hours spent together! =) Thanks guys! Victor, I seriously don't mind watching the movie again! ;)

Time to share some thoughts that's being going through my mind:

It's the caterpillar's destiny to become a butterfly . . . The only way it would fail to become one is when it gives up and loses the will to fight. Will you be willing to go through the metamorphosis? Will you be willing to pay the price?

Pst Ming shared that Abraham Lincoln struggled for 9 hours on his deathbed after he was shot in the neck when most people put in a similar situation would have died within 1 to 2 hours according to the doctors. He was aware of his great calling and destiny as president of his country and fought till the end to keep it. That touched my heart completely. How many times have I felt like giving up and asked God to just take me to heaven? But I have a great destiny. I will impact lives. It is my destiny to. I want to have a great attitude like Abraham Lincoln, the one who says, "Never, never, never, never, never give up."

I feel frustrated, because the potential that lies within me is trying to get out. Walk into your destiny Wendy, don't lose sight of it. You are not just living for yourself. You are laying down your life for others, not because you have to but because you want to. Bruce Wayne is a billionaire. He's got everything he ever needed. He could have just enjoyed all that he had for himself but he chose to get uncomfortable, he chose to sacrifice his own life to fight for what he believes in. He chose to save Gotham City from the onslaughts of the enemies. Live like that!

" Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." - Helen Keller


15 July 2008

For so long I was struggling and groping in the dark, running around in circles and not knowing what is the exact thing that I ought to do nor was I able to clearly see the rationale of why I want to do it. But today, my breakthrough came and I finally felt a sense of release and saw the light in the situation. When light comes, darkness dissipates. =) Now, I'm clear of the decision that I've made and why I made it. Finally, I found the strength, and the faith to know that I can overcome this. And I can only thank you, you, you, you, you, you,you and You for it. =)

Of course, that doesn't mean that everything will turn perfect overnight. It takes 3 weeks for me to become familiar with something new and another 3 weeks before it becomes a comfortable habit. But I've made a decision and I'm sticking to it. I really, really want to be kind but I need to be cruel to be kind now. I need to lose in order to win. ;) I sow in tears now and I shall reap in joy! =)

Choir practice was so fun! Loves it. =)


不 管 前 面
道 路 有 多 困 苦
耶 稣 你 永 远
是 我 的 帮 助
只 要 有 你 在 我
生 命 中 永 远 看 顾
我 必 能 一 路 永 跟 随
我 的 主

14 July 2008

Life Still Has Meaning - Author unknown

If there is a future there is time for mending
Time to see your troubles coming to an ending.

Life is never hopeless however great your sorrow
If you’re looking forward to a new tomorrow.

If there is time for wishing then there is time for hoping
When through doubt and darkness you are blindly groping.

Though the heart be heavy and hurt you may be feeling
If there is time for praying there is time for healing.

So if through your window there is a new day breaking
Thank God for the promise, though mind and soul be aching,

If with harvest over there is grain enough for gleaning
There is a new tomorrow and life still has meaning.

13 July 2008


Walua Seribu Rebah (English)


Mercies that rise with the new morn

Set me apart as a newborn

Each moment I live

By faith I believe

With You I'm never alone


Darkness may come

Trials seem so long

You are the light I depend on

Through valleys and storms

Your word keeps me strong

My shelter, refuge and song

I trust in You


Everyday I live

I know You are my God

I lift my face and look to you my Lord

Even when the mountains tremble

And a thousand fall

I will stand with You

My Jesus

Take My All

10 July 2008

En Yao kor kor confronted me yesterday and what he said really spoke to me, especially this - "A leader always bounces back from their setbacks quickly. " For too long I've been standing down - too emo and vulnerable. I've been having headaches, heartaches, endless tears and sorrows. And then there were the times when the words that I want to express can't find their way out of my mouth , the times when I didn't do the things that I'm supposed to because I was simply too depressed to focus on doing anything. I can't go on like this forever. I need to get up and get up quickly I must. There are so many tasks and people waiting for me . . . A leader cannot afford to take their own sweet time to stand up on their feet again. Because the people under their care will be shortchanged as a result. I hate being shortchanged so I really shouldn't and mustn't shortchange people. For all those that I've let down throughout this ordeal, thanks for being patient with me.

I have so many weaknesses . . . really I do, but every time I fall, I eventually find the strength to get back up again. You know, one of my 20th birthday wishes last year was to become a stronger person and God is fulfilling that wish every single day, especially in this season of my life. It is very uncomfortable but I know that after all is said and done, it will be worthwhile at the end of the day. Through this painful experience, I got to know myself better and gain new insights.

Wendy is gonna be the happiest person you will see on the face of the earth! ;P

The test today was much easier than expected. I think I'll get around 85/90! :) Tmr's test will not be as easy but I'm confident that I'll do well. =) I LOVE DOING MCQs. Totally love it, lol.


Don't wanna walk this road alone
Cos I know You are the best of me
I won't do it on my own
Cos in You I found my destiny

The road is long
The valley's deep
The ocean's wide in front of me

But God . . .
You will save the day


Daddy, thank You for always loving me. Help me to love him when I can't. I thank You that You will. That you will be there for him when I can't. You will send good friends into his life that will be a blessing to him when I can't. I entrust him to you. You will do a work so radical and so great that he will know that You are the true and living God. I'll see him in heaven one day and we can look back and laugh about what happened. Daddy, wipe the tears from our eyes and mend our broken hearts. Let us see beyond the pain and be strong . . . let joy and peace fill us once again. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
What a beautiful beautiful song, click and listen! ;)



I Still Believe In Miracles - Sydney Mohede



I've been watching you closely up from Heaven
See the dark clouds hanging above your head
As the enemies and vultures closed behind you
You feel you've lost with nowhere left to go

But I've promised you that I would never leave you
Though My timing's hard for you to comprehend
Do you trust Me to know that I am there
To see you through, right until the end?


Do you believe in miracles?
That I'll part the sea and save your day?
Do you believe in miracles?
That I will be with you all the way?

For so many days and nights I've prayed to Heaven
While the enemies are waiting for my fall
When all around me felt like sinking sand
With no place to stand, with only Your name I can call

Now I know my faith in You is being shaken
And I'm not afraid to say that I am scared
But I do know You're true to all Your words
You are my God and I know that You'll be there

I still believe in miracles
That You'll part the sea and save my day
I still believe in miracles
You would be with me all the way!

And I know that You are able to save me from the fire
But even if You don't
My love for You remains . . .
My love for You remains!

I still believe in miracles
That You'll part the sea and save my day
I still believe in miracles
You would be with me all the way

Save my day
All the way
Save my day