10 March 2010

Singapore’s Most Popular/Notorious Film Director at the Moment is also My Fellow Church Member



I won’t forget the variety show that brought much laughter to my life when I was just a kid, Comedy Night. I’ve also been a faithful follower of Jack Neo’s movies ever since 1998 when I was just 11 years old. I’ve watched 13 of his movies -  Money No Enough 钱不够用, I Not Stupid 小孩不笨, Just Follow Law 我在政府部门的日子 , Love Matters 幸福万岁, Where Got Ghost 吓到笑 , Being Human 做人 and more. You name it. :) Not only did I LMAOed, I also teared while watching several of them because the poignant scenes touched my heart. I particularly remember sobbing, and I really do mean sobbing, at some scenes in Homerun 跑吧,孩子 and I Not Stupid Too 小孩不笨2 because I found myself relating to the plight of the actors in the movies... there was a deep connection within my soul. I would even encourage my friends to go catch his movies, clearly, I had been impacted by them.


I was getting my hair styled at Chapter 2 on Sunday afternoon for Fashion In The Sky when I first saw the headlines off my Twitter via @stcom and my jaw dropped in disbelief. Is this for real?? Or is this just some publicity stunt for his new movie? I quickly opened the news link.


When I realized that the actress who played the character of Mark Lee’s sister-in-law in Being Human 做人 is the mistress in question, I was like… no wonder! I caught the movie just 4 days ago and couldn’t help but feel that the actress was out of place… I thought her looks really didn’t fit in with her character or the overall feel of the movie. What’s more, she’s 22 years old, only 1 year younger than me! I can hardly imagine myself having a relationship with someone who is as old as my father… and S’pore’s most well-known director at that!


I first saw Jack Neo in person at a church event at Singapore Indoor Stadium back in 2007... He came to know about us as he used City Harvest Church’s office in Suntec City to film an “explosion” scene for Just Follow Law, most other offices had turned him away. That fateful day, I vividly remember seeing Pastor Tan Ye Peng talking to him from the angle where I was standing. They were only a few rows away from the front of the stage. Straits Times didn’t mention names but I believe that the pastor mentioned in this article is none other than Pastor Tan himself. I think one of the reasons why Straits Times didn’t publicize which church Jack Neo is attending is due to the religious sensitivity we have in this country. If I were a non-Christian bitch ass journalist or a CHC hater, my 1st instinct would be to write this headline, “Jack Neo, a Member of Singapore’s Largest Church, Exposed for His Extra-marital Affairs, Pastor Stands by Him” and interview key church leaders and the members for their point of view. Will this be allowed in Straits Times? I guess not right? Especially when the government is stressing that we need to carefully maintain the religious harmony that we “enjoy”. Haha.


The second time I saw Jack Neo in person was at another church service at Expo Hall 8, and his family members were present as well. I was standing not more than 20 meters away from him… and I saw a smile on his face when one of his sons responded to the altar call.



Jack and his family with Senior Pastor, Kong Hee
and church staff Wenling on the far right. (Source: www.chc.org.sg)



Subsequently, I have only seen him on 2 separate occasions in 2008 and both times he was on stage sharing about his film-making experience, addressing thousands of us. Do I think that the church leadership had made a mistake by helping him promote his movies and getting him to talk to us? Definitely not, because our objective was and still is to help people, even imperfect ones.


That said, I believe that the church leadership was unaware of his extra-marital affairs previously. Had they known, would they still had given him a platform? If I can rightly discern my church leaders well…. I believe they would, after having counseled him and taught him what the bible says but would leave the ball in his court. We are unable to and we cannot and must not force our members to leave sin behind against their own free will anyway. Pastor Kong can preach his heart out to us every week but ultimately, it is still our choice as to the actions that we choose to take. If we choose to sin, then the consequences of it, we have to bear. I believe they wouldn’t give him no platform at all…I like to believe that my church leadership is not as narrow-minded as that... =) After all, we teach people to hate the sin but to love the sinner and to use our talents to benefit society.


However, I wished that Pastor Tan and his personal church friends had developed a deeper relationship with him such that his affairs would have been brought to light and dealt with BEFORE the media came to know of it. That could have saved him and the mistress from a lot of unwanted public scrutiny... Alas, I guess that was not possible with Jack’s tight schedule as a Director; filming must have stretched across many weekends or had taken place overseas or he could have simply kept a distance deliberately for fear of being discovered. As such, I believe Jack was not attending church services regularly in the last 3 years. Do correct me if I’m wrong.


As a new 3-year-old believer, I am not surprised that he still has skeletons in his closet. On a personal note, I have been attending CHC regularly every week for the last 7 years now and I could still remember those days when I was living in sin. Up till now, I still struggle with anger and a lack of patience, just to name a few. But thank heavens I am not a celebrity or I would have lived a life 10 times more horrible when my sins are being found out. The thing about sin is that it has it’s consequences  whether you like it or not, a big time sinner like me would know, and Jack is paying his dues now. If you are reading this and you are in an extra-marital affair, please get out of it now before it’s too late, before you destroy yourself and your family with you...


What caught my attention isn’t the number of women that Jack was entangled with or how ugly, or how young they are. What surprised me was his wife’s response - according to the reports, she had apparently knew of the affair a year ago but chose to keep quiet and did not confront him about it! That to me, is… such a high level of Nirvana I don’t think I can ever attain! 


I cannot fathom if my future husband commits adultery. I probably will go crazy and ignore him for the next 10 gazillion years. Or I might be so furious I would chop off his penis or something! Aaron Lee Kwang Siong, pls don’t ever do that to me in the future, I might not be able to forgive you! That said, if I ever commit adultery, you don’t have to forgive me either! Though I really don’t believe or think I will... But then again, even the great King Solomon in all his glory and wisdom fell prey. Oh God pls, NO! Help me, I don’t ever want to follow in my father’s footsteps or suffer the same plight that many wives had. :( I think 3 out of every 5 married man cheat on their wives, shit.


Yes, my father had a mistress when I was in Junior College. He came home one night and called her with our house phone. He was in our living room while I was studying in my room. He was talking to her in a very flirting manner in his usual loud voice and I could hear every single word he said. I was completely and utterly disgusted and disappointed… He didn’t even had the decency or the intelligence to speak softly or make the call elsewhere even though my brother and I were at home! What ensued was even more scary…


My mother had left work early to “catch” my father because she suspected that something was amiss. She was eavesdropping as she had been secretly standing outside our front door which my dad had left open. She charged in after they hanged up… My parents then screamed and fought with each other, and my mum even used the broomstick… I think it lasted for at least an hour. I was at a complete lost.


I felt a deep sense of betrayal by my father’s actions to say the least but I have since moved on from that incident… thanks to the support I received from those closest to me... You know who you are. :)  I believe my father is no longer in contact with that woman now.


I can comprehend how Jack Neo’s children must feel now... Trust me when I say that  adultery is a big deal… It’s not something that will be eradicated from the minds of his wife and children. 


Yet,I believe there is still hope. His wife seems like a really strong and gracious woman who is able to forgive him of his misgivings. If Jack is truly sorry for his mistakes and will stop seeing any other women; and keep his eyes glued only to his wife of 20 over years for the rest of his life… I believe all is not lost, and that his children can also come to forgive their father if he is truly repentant.


I found what netizen,@dillyrious, proclaimed on Twitter yesterday somewhat disturbing. She said, “ It frustrates me when Jack Neo is referred as SG's most successful director which reflects how bad SG’s taste is.”



Hello, how many prominent directors are there in Singapore? If it’s not Jack Neo, not Royston Tan then who else can it be? If an artist commits crimes, does it mean that we must boycott his movies? Does it means his movies no longer have any value? We don’t give an artiste any room for errors, do we? Can we not separate an artiste from his art? Are we really that shallow, my fellow Singaporeans?


When Jack Neo bounces back from this saga and makes movies in the future which I believe he will… I will still continue to support them just like I have ever since I was a little girl. Not that I adore Jack Neo but simply because I’m a movie buff and find his films entertaining enough for local standards. Even though the actors in his company might leave, I believe there are many other actors out there who are just as competent, and he can start anew. The human spirit is tenacious. So don’t give up on yourself now Jack! Whatever that doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger!


Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to downplay his mistakes here. Neither do I condone his actions. Yes, I understand the outrage that many must feel by his complete lack of morals, even though his movies reflect moral values, especially when my father himself had an extra-marital affair… However, what Jack and his family need now, is not another critical Singaporean OR another self-righteous Christian throwing stones or huge rocks at him; what they need now is some personal space and support from friends and church leaders as the fate of the Neo family is at stake and because he must be feeling like the most condemned and ashamed person in the entire world at this point in time and that is a horrible, horrible place to be in. I know it might be hard for you, oh holy ones, to imagine that but I felt a pinch of that in comparison when I had a saga with my relatives during the CNY period. 


I think that Jack Neo should not wait till the dust is settled before speaking out, he should do it now and do it fast because the truth will set people free. Or else, the public will just keep speculating about the affairs and tian you jia chu or women that were linked to Jack Neo in the past would just keep spilling the beans. Am I right to think this way, Pastor Tan?



If I’m from City Harvest, why am I not keeping all these to myself you may ask? Surely there is nothing to be proud of by associating myself as a fellow church member of Jack Neo? Or, surely I should learn to protect the reputation of a fellow church member? 


I chose to blog about this simply because I have many thoughts on the issue and believe that things happen for a reason - they need to be brought to light so that we can learn from them, and not just conveniently sweep dirty dust under the carpet. It really helps no one in the long run. I have swept too many things under the carpet for too many times so much so that the dust accumulates, seeps out of the carpet, chokes and eventually kills me. I hope City News Weekly will publish an article about it this weekend. This is what I call real news - no matter how ugly it may be, it is life in all it’s reality and there is really no point in hiding or keeping silent. 


I’m also hoping to see that Singaporeans will prove me wrong. That we are not who I think we are - a bunch of highly educated, highly moralistic and highly critical people who are quick to judge another for their misgivings.
 


That said, Mistubishi just dropped Jack as an endorser of it’s air-cons… and I don’t like it. If our local reporters are as earnest as the paparazzi of the west, I bet more scandals would surface in the media and no less than 3 out of every 10 celebrities would be found to be living in some secret sin at some point in their life. I’ve said it before and I’ve said it again, human beings are fragile and imperfect, and anyone and everyone is capable of falling into sin, and that includes church pastors, monks, politicians, celebrities and myself. What is gonna happen then? Drop a celebrity every time his scandal breaks out? Leave a church every time the pastor commits a hideous crime? Life is too unstable if we were to base all our faith, destiny or even a brand upon the morality of a fellow human being. It would be like building your house on sand or straw and not on concrete.


If there is anything that I’ve learnt from this hullabaloo, it is that reputation is but fleeting. One minute you can be the world’s most applauded and loaded billionaire golfer or a highly appraised director and the next minute you can become the most disgraced person on planet earth. What’s the point of putting up a pretty front all the time when almost all of us have some skeletons or unglamorous things in our closet? Eventually, they will all surface one day one way or another. So with this blog, I attempt to “sabotage” myself first before someone else does. ;)


Btw, I’ve been following Jack Neo's Blog for more than a year now; his latest entry on the release of Being Human was posted just last Thursday. Jack, of course, does not talk about his extra-marital affairs on his blog but I wished he had did so openly or at least had shared his struggles in a subtle manner because if he had done that, I believe he wouldn’t be in such deep shit now... At least it didn’t have to take an ugly unhappy mistress to spill the beans! :) He also uses Twitter,betcha didn't know that! =p


Man, it takes so much hard work to write an entry like that. To end off on a "lighter"  note, check out this video produced by a 21-year-old “filmmaker”, it won a Nuffnang award. I thought it’s really entertaining, hahaha. With such talent around, there’s still hope for the entertainment scene in Singapore!



          

06 March 2010

I Will Rise


Just saw this on Madeline's Facebook and have got to share!




I will rise... Join me? :)

05 March 2010

Suntec City Convention Hall, the New City Harvest Location?



I chanced upon this online... zoom in to see the details.





Suntec Convention Hall seems to fit the descriptions well, it is central and can accommodate 12,000 seats. I heard that Suntec isn't doing very well in the books with all the sprouting malls in S'pore and hence I infer that they would likely be keen to sell the Hall to us... Imagine 20,000 more people eating at restaurants in Suntec City every weekend! Ka-ching! =D



However, I think I'll be a little disappointed if it really is Suntec Convention Hall... because:



1. It's not a new building. 


I've been dreaming of an iconic, state of the art structure... Victor brought up a good point, in the bible, no church congregation took over buildings yeah? They built the church from the ground up, especially in the Old Testament. But then again, Singapore is extremely small and has too many restrictions for us to build something large to accommodate all 27,000 of us in the central area and yet not be too costly at the same time. And our rent at Expo every weekend is NOT cheap. We need to move and we need to move fast. Not to mention every year getting shoved around from Hall 8 to Hall 1!



2. It's at least a 15 minutes walk from City Hall Mrt!

Hopefully by the time we move in, I would already own a car but if not then.... I can't wear uncomfy heels to church anymore! Haha! Okay I sound like a bimbo. But really, I can imagine myself calling cg members at 5.25pm when service starts at 5.30pm... 


Me: "Hello, where are you?"

Member: "I'm at CityLink, walking over!"

Me: "Service starting in 5 mins still walking over huh."


Me to usher trying to take away the seats,
  " My members are coming already!!! "

I'll end up quarreling arguing with the ushers as usual. *Faints* 

LOL.

 
3. Hmm, where are the annual IT Fairs that are usually at  Suntec gonna be held then? I don't want the public to throw stones at us.


Some members of the public have been throwing enough stones at us already, if we antagonize them any further, I don't think they're gonna be very nice. But then again, those people aren't nice to us right from the start, wacking us to no end in the forums.  No matter what we do, they still won't be happy so... who cares. :)


Come to think of it, Suntec Convention Hall really isn't such a bad place afterall, it's really right smack central in S'pore and it sure beats having to travel to Expo every weekend. And there are a lot of eateries to choose from.  Aaron Lee Kwang Siong, I want to buy a house that is on the East West line so I can be near church, near everything. Go opm at Suntec can walk home after that, hahahaha kidding!


Wherever it is, I trust Pastor Kong that it will be the best location for our church, given the circumstances. He is one of the greatest men that I've ever known.  Just one more day to knowing but the crux is really raising the $310 million for it. I think we've raised about $100 million so far already? Just another $210 million to go! Hahaha. We can do this! :)


P.S: I'm contemplating on going to S1 instead with Jamie tmr so you Tweeters won't spoil it for me! Hahaha!

We Had Fits Over This

Did you get my sarcastic humor? :)


The video editor has finally finished his masterpiece 
after 4 days of losing sleep over it.






Show him some love if you like it!
I don't know if I have anymore left to give.
All the quarreling has affected me.



My fave part is of course the ending, I think you'll know why. :)
Maybe I've been singing the chorus of Bad Romance so often
that it becomes a reality in my life! So shingz! Hahaha! 
Ris Low has RSVPed "Attending" to Fashion In The Sky! ;)
I really hope she comes, I wanna talk to her!

 
If only I know how to edit videos myself
then I don't have to depend on someone else to do it!
But I know I'll pull all of my hair out before I succeed, hahaha!



Anyway, you can help the Haitians 
rebuild their lives by donating via Give.sg.
Every dollar counts.



The media isn't reporting much about them now 
but they're still suffering from the 
aftermath of the devastating earthquake.



















Last but not least 

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Walk, walk, fashion baby! 
 Tee hee.


I bought a $63 dress from New Look especially for it! 
Thank you Janet for going shopping with me and helping me to choose. :)
Comeeeeeeeeeee and see me wear the cute dress, it FITS! =D

01 March 2010

It's Complicated



I quarreled with the boyfriend yet again. And this time it's over video editing for Fashion In The Sky photo shoot and fitting session. I had told him that I wanted the video by 12 midnight yesterday and he only told me that that couldn't be done just 2 hours before. He didn't give me an alternative earlier, he didn't respond to my suggestions, he didn't asked for the videos to be given to him earlier, nothing. And he expects me to not be upset with him.


Why couldn't he just told me that he's not up for it? I could have found someone else to help instead of putting my hopes in him. I'm in charged of video hosting and publicity for the event and naturally I would be most urgent about it being put up on the web as soon as possible so that I can attract more people to attend the event. And we are only less than 6 days away from it. 


I'm disappointed. Men have disappointed me so many times.... Yesterday, Enrique was supposed to come and help me with video shooting and he fly aeroplane one hour before the photoshoot. And I had to frantically look for videographers and thank God for Wilson Chua who referred me to Shyan who referred me to Eugene Soh, and he brought his friend William Paul Orchard along. And mind you, they were complete strangers to me and yet they came and help out for hours despite such last min notice with no complaints. They even had so much fun. And I was so happy interviewing the make-up artists, the blogshop owners and the models, chattting with everyone, etc.


And when I got home at 10ish? Bam. There were rice beads all over the floor, in the living room, kitchen, toilets, everywhere and furniture was shifted, and it looked worst than before. Who did that? My father. Why did he do it? To apparently chase away evil spirits in the house. As if evil spirits will be afraid of rice beads!? The maid is gonna be really pissed when she comes over tmr to see how messed up the house is. And it's not me, none of it is me. Please never associate the mistakes of my father with me, we are two separate people. His mistakes have got nothing to do with me and I am not responsible for his mistake, period.


Just what is wrong with men? I have seen great men but they are few and far between. Even the anointed Benny Hinn is getting a divorce. Maybe I should stop dreaming about getting married and living my happily ever after. Maybe I should marry a woman so I never have to be disappointed the way I'm always disappointed with men. Maybe I should just stay single and unattached for the rest of my life and become a nun or something. Lol.


































Today's entry could have been titled, "It's A Wrap!" and the Youtube video of the photoshoot pasted here. But no, it's titled "It's Complicated." because life is never as simple as I had imagined or wanted it to be. Not to mention the shocking news I saw this morning... Life is complicated, very complicated and I'll be lying to you if I say I never have to deal with stupid people or any issues or struggle through them.

  
What a great way to start off my March 2010! HA.

25 February 2010

Walk Walk Fashion Baby



I simply love the opening sequence of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2009. Watch the video!  


If  Fashion In The Sky can achieve just 10% of their standard, very successful already! Hahaha!






When I went to Oklahoma and Texas in Dec 2008, many of my female classmates went goo goo gaga over Victoria's Secrets and so did I!  


I bought lip gloss & tights for my friends, a 250 ml Very Sexy Hot' Sheer Sexy Mist (LOL, perfume in other words) and a PINK cushion that says "Big Heart Mountain" and squeezed it into my luggage bag! Am hugging it to sleep at night and still loving it now! =)


And looking at how Asian girls go crazy over VS, I thought how nice it will be if I can bring it to S'pore!


I casually shared the idea with my friends and the next thing I know? Resort World Sentosa (RWS) opened with the 1st Victoria's Secret store in Asia! Who brought it in? Ashvin Valiram, the director of Malaysian-based retailer Valiram Group. Like who is that right!?? I googled and found this:


" The Valiram Group was established in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia in 1935, originally specializing in the textile trade. The Valiram Group is Southeast Asia’s leading luxury goods and travel-retail specialist with corporate headquarters in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with regional offices in Singapore, Jakarta and Sydney. Creating exceptional retail environments and luxurious shopping experiences is the hallmark of the Group. Valiram continues to bring to Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia and Australia iconic luxury brands as well as cutting-edge retail concepts in the domestic and travel-retail arena. "



How long did it take them to negotiate with VS? 


5 long years! 


I don't think I'll have the kind of patience that they have! 5 years leh!!! 5 years ago when they started negotiations I was still a 18-year-old struggling in JC 2! TOOOO SLOW ALREADY! Big organization like them that started in 1935 also took 5 years to negotiate leh!  Who am I in comparison! *Faints*


Seems like VS isn't keen to "share" their services in Asia... I went with Aaron to RWS a few weeks back, the VS shop there is so small lor. -_-"' Doesn't even do those 5 years any justice! My idea was to open a huge one like the ones I saw in America at say, Vivocity! Lol. 


Oh well, I guess I have to think of other more feasible ideas then!   

At least for now, I'm happy to be the "godmother" of  Fashion In The Sky (Jamie is the mother, Adeline the father! Hahaha, just kidding)! =p Watch out for our publicity in Lian He Zao Bao today! ;)







Yours truly will be the video host of the event and going around to interview you, the most happening  people! It's like one of my dreams come true and I wanna do a fantastic job... Gonna rehearse and all! :) You may RSVP at our FB event invite. See you there!



24 February 2010

Give All My Secrets Away



Just stumbled upon this song that Darren Lin from Blessings In A Bag posted on his Facebook and I instantly connected with it. My hair stood the 1st time I heard it and I've replayed it at least 10 times already! How can I not share good music with you, my dear blog readers!? :)


I love One Republic, they create songs that I can connect with, like Stop and Stare! Can u feel my heart in the song!? ;)







I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
Til' all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said

Come by it honestly I swear

Thought you saw me wink, no
I've been on the brink, so



Tell me what you want to hear
Something that'll like those ears 
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away




My God, amazing how we've got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news 
All the problems that we could solve
And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Singing straight, too cold
I don't really like my flow, no, so


Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'mma tell you everything



P.S: I've been thinking a lot the last few days, hence no entries about my family issues... and I really don't enjoy the silence... But it's coming, I promise.

17 February 2010

Gaga at Brtish Awards 2010!




Gagalicious has outdone herself once again at the Brit Awards in this performance dedicated to the late fashion genius, Alexander McQueen! A combination of 'Telephone' and 'Dance in The Dark'.






FRESH AND HOT. What do ya think? The Gaga statue, the lighting effects, the costume and that guitar lookalike keyboard thingy? I think, if the church wants to learn creativity, look no further than the Lady! =)




And btw, Gaga won all 3 awards that she was nominated for, International Best Female, Best Breakthrough Act and Best Album for The Fame. Glory be to God! :)

Why I Blog What I Blog



It's 5 am in the morning, I'm still recovering from a viral infection but I am sitting in front of my computer typing this entry now because... I am very provoked about something and I want to express it here in the best manner I know how before I forget about it.


When I started Lady-Wen.blogspot.com, I had determined in my heart that on this blog, I will not just talk about the happy, positive things that are taking place in my life. I will also talk about the pain, the issues, the struggles and the thoughts that are going through my heart and my mind. I had determined that I will be as authentic as I can be and want to be on this blog. I want to lay it bare.


I want to do this is because I realized that in the past, I always go on a blogging hiatus when things are not going well in my life. When I go through bad things and when I have politically incorrect things to say, I go on a limbo, "Should I say this? Should I not say this? How to say it? Etc."


And because of me thinking and over-thinking what I want to say and what not to say, I end up having entries in drafts that no one ever got to see and a blog that is not an accurate reflection of my life, my reality. 


This is what I do not want. The world is full of blogs that are not an accurate reflection of reality (pls note that I did not say that it is wrong) and that is simply that not my preference at this point in time. Which brings me to the point, is it right for someone to judge me merely based on what I write on my blog? Is it right for someone to pinpoint fingers at me and say, "Hey, you should not be talking like this on your personal blog?" I guess I will have to leave that to you, my blog reader to decide.


One of my humble desire for this blog is that it can challenge the mindset that many religious people have. "Oh, woe to you for talking like that on your blog! GOD WILL NOT BE PLEASED. What would Jesus do? Would Jesus say this kind of things if He were a blogger(LOL!)?"


And if you think that I'm a crazy person who thinks I know it all. I can assure you that I don't. The more I know, the more I realize how much I don't really know. So I am humbly trying to do what I think I know in the hope that in this process of what I call, "Self Discovery", I will become a better person in God's timing... not your timing, sorry! :)


For too long my friends, Christians have been labeled as hypocrites because we have this front that we put up. And I myself was very much a hypocrite in the past. If you ask me to choose to be hypocritically prim and proper or authentically crazy, I choose the latter. Not because I am being authentically crazy merely for the sake of being so, but I am simply choosing to type down the thoughts that are going through my mind the moments that I'm blogging without over-thinking it. This is my art. And art is meant to be appreciated. I believe that in itself carries power which for too long, Christians have forgotten how to use.




'Staling':  "Having lost novelty or interest. Having lost freshness, 
vigor, quick intelligence, initiative, or the like."



And of course, as the imperfect person that I am, words you see on this blog will be edifying, pretty and good as well as bad, crude and ugly. And when I want to type something that is bad and ugly here, I won't be like, " Oh no, this is so bad and ugly, should I say it or should I not say it? What happens when other people read what I say? They are going to be so stumbled oh my gosh oh my gosh I'm so scared! I'm giving Jesus a bad name, how can I!??" LOL.


If you are expecting a prim and proper blog with only the right words, then I'm sorry, I'm unable to please you with that and you are very much welcomed to not read my blog.


Am I not aware of how being real will ruin my chances of ever becoming a cgl in church? I perfectly know well. I have always had a passion for pple and believe that I am called to cg leadership but if being a cg leader means I have to be prim & proper in front of my members at all times, can't say anything bad or politically incorrect, must be super holy, then I rather be a normal member. Because I rather be real and at peace with myself, then become somebody else I'm not in order to be more leader-like. 







I value authenticity so much more than political correctness. Because for so long I tried to be politically correct, and ended up stifling the creativity that God has placed on the inside of me and became a bland person that the world cannot relate to. 


And I am trying to live out what I believe in, whether you like it or not. I am unable to please everyone and I will not seek to please everyone because then I am not being true to who I am on the inside and simply putting up a front or a mask just to please you and I'm sure you wouldn't want that either. So yeah, if you are a faint-hearted person who cannot take "controversial" stuff, please, do yourself a favor and not read my blog. =) There, I've said it. And if you want to read my blog, please, you are very much welcomed too! I only ask that you come to Lady-Wen.blogspot.com with an open mind, that is... if you have one! =D


Can I choose who reads my blog? No. So would God judge me when someone chooses to read my blog? No. Will God judge me for what I write on this blog? This is between me and Him, none of your business really, so do you want to play God in my life? =)




Rom 14:23 " The way you live isn't consistent with what you believe, then it's wrong."



P.S: If you come from a more liberal culture and you are wondering why the big hooha of trying to explain why I blog what I blog, well, that because I come from a conservative culture where people tend to be more narrow-minded and we don't really get to enjoy that much freedom of expression without being told, "It's not right!". Sucks balls right? I totally get you. :)



14 February 2010

We Are The World

Oh my gawd, oh my gawd, I just stumbled upon this on Youtube, it's so touching, the singers so passionate I MUST share it with you!! WATCH IT!!





The rapping part is dope! Did you see the way they sang???? Did you see the expressions on their faces!? Where's your passion Singaporeans? SHOW IT TO ME PLEASE!

11 February 2010

Farewell McQueen... ='(


In 2009, we lost our dear King of Pop Michael Jackson, as well as actress, Brittany Murphy, to the usage of medical drugs that took a devastatingly wrong turn. Tragically, at the turn of this new decade, we receive shocking news that the phenomenal Fashion Designer who wowed us with his out-of-this-world designs has committed suicide and passed away...


















Truth be told, I was unfamiliar with Alexander McQueen till the day I saw the lobster-claw shoes in Lady Gaga's 'Bad Romance' video which really caught my attention.







Regretfully, I didn't even know what he looked like until now. And it was only at his death, as I am researching for this entry that I realize... how much of a dear fellow human being we have lost...



 He is so good-looking and has such beautiful eyes...




For those of you who are unfamiliar with his work as well...





  1. He is a four time British Designer of the Year recipient between 1996 to 2003.
  2. He had boutiques in New York, London, Los Angeles, Milan, and Las Vegas by the end of 2007.
  3. On 14 July 2008, the Alexander McQueen internet store was launched. Knowing this made me sad because it seemed like he had only just touched the pinnacle of his career! And his next fashion show was scheduled just a few days from now...



Look at these beautiful black high heels with hot pink soles he designed!!







On a side note, McQueen was openly gay. Somebody please tell me why so many fashion designers, and fabulous ones at that are gay? I'm dying with this need to know. Anybody still wanna tell me gays are not exceptionally creative?  



I first heard the news through @gagadaily's tweet and I thought, "Is this a joke?" When I googled and found out that it was true, I kept thinking, "He's only 40 years old! I haven't even appreciated his work long enough yet and he's gone! Why so sudden? Why did he commit suicide, why??? =( =( "



His body being carried out of his house in London...



Perezhilton.com said that, "The devastating news comes on the heels of his mother passing away  just last week and three years after his good friend Isabella Blow committed suicide." My guess is he couldn't take the lost of two very important woman in his life and 一时想不开 (literal translation - 'couldn't accept the fact momentarily') But why wasn't there anyone who stopped him? Where were his friends? With close ones' encouragement, maybe he wouldn't have ended his life? Maybe... just maybe... but it is all too late now... ='(



And the photo that make me teary...




His neighbor looking on... I think this is the look on people 
all over the world who have been impacted by him.



It must be a really difficult time for his family now... I can only pray that they will find the strength to carry on...


How unpredictable life truly is... When I die, I want the world to mourn for me because that would mean that I have impacted their lives in one way or another... Just like how we are mourning for McQueen now. RIP Alexander... Will I get to meet you in heaven?

10 February 2010

Because She's Worth It!

Hello Jamie, it's your birthday and I'm feeling reflective now so I'm gonna write a long, honest post, not the typical happy birthday posts! =p




Firstly, I want to say that it has been one of life's greatest gift to be in the same CG as you for the last 2 years 3 years!  Oh my gawd, how time flies! Your birthday means the mark of our 3rd year tgt as cg members and friends, and I think this year is gonna be even better, we're gonna have even more fun, and do even more things for God and His people than in the last 2 years 3 years!! :) Oh my gawd, I'm so bimbotic this is actually the 4th year we're tgt in the same cg!!! Unbelievable!




Your fashion sense, your sexiness, your talents and just being around to brighten up my days.... priceless! :)




Of course there are days when I wished you could be more spiritual, days when I wished you would just stop thinking and chiong to SOT, days when I hope you will try not to be a Superwoman, but hey! I'm not gonna put you on a pedestal just because you are a PCGL and I pray that no one else will too. Who am I to judge really!? Is a PCGL not human as well?




If there's anyone I want to talk to when I have something not "politically correct" to say, you would naturally come to mind because I know I can be honest with you, put up no pretense and won't be "minused marks" for being unleader-like. U're someone that understands me. Right from 2 years ago, I saw a huge potential inside you to be a great leader.... You're a real leader cos your relationship precedes your ministry! ALL THE WAY BABY!

You remind me of God actually - fun, exciting and OPEN! :) Of all the things that I pray for you this year, I pray for strength because I see that God is shaking whatever that can be shaken in your life because of the great plans ahead that He has installed for you so don't you ever give up and don't you ever give in! Be strong my friend, be strong for yourself, for God and for all of us! I need you! :) Being the 2 high 'I's that we are, we gonna Influence each other more! 


I make my mark on you and you make yr mark on me! =D


Sorry Net Net, borrow you for a while, Jamie looks really chio in this photo!



At the end of it all, I can only say that I am so proud of you and the sacrifices that you have made to come this far. 2010 will be a year of transition for you and I pray that Daddy God will hold your hand and lead you every step of the way. 


Happy happy 22th Birthday darling Jamie! 2010 is gonna be your BESTEST year yet! And the best part about it is that we're gonna run this race tgt! YAY! :)


STAY HOOOT AND SEXY ALWAYS! Hahaha!



Loads of mushy mushy love,
Wendy

25 January 2010

I Feel Like A Freak

I am tearing as I type this entry. My 3rd aunt called and she went on and on about what the maid said about me, what she thinks about me, questioning me in a tone that was less than friendly... and I just feel so...  misunderstood and unappreciated.


Growing up, I really felt like a freak. People keep telling me, "No this is not right, you should do it this way. You should do it that way. No you should be like this, no you should be like that."



I feel like I'm a piece of trash simply because I don't fit into their mold, their socially accepted norms of what a good girl should be. If a girl doesn't come home before 10pm, doesn't clean, doesn't wash, doesn't do household chores, she is a horrible horrible horrible girl. Even my parents, the very people who brought me into this earth doesn't appreciate my personality and my way of doing things. And I feel like I'm a piece of shit. And when I was doing something right, where were they? Why did they all go? Did they give me a word of encouragement? In my darkest hours of struggling, were they there for me?



If I was a little innocent 10-year-old kid who didn't know what is right and what is wrong, they probably can do that.... But now that I am a working adult, I clearly know what my priorities in life are, what are the things that are important to me, what are not important, and I will not bow down to what THEY THINK ARE IMPORTANT just to fit in, just to be accepted, just to be loved because that is not representative of who I am as a person. I have my convictions and I am very strong about them. The world is filled with people who will do things that other people asks them to do, even though it is not what they really want, just for the sake of pleasing people and I'm not saying that that is wrong, it's just what they choose to be and it is okay, but when I choose to be myself, I get shit for it. 




I'm realized one thing, the desire to find acceptance and love from the people around me...... Something I always long for, is the very thing that is killing me softly.... Silently and softly, the Wendy I know was eroding on the inside. I try to be like everybody else, I try to blend in and fit in. I try to change myself to make others happy. I went to JC instead of poly because my mum told me to. And the repercussion of that on my soul is unimaginable. Those 2 years in Junior College were the darkest days of my life. 








Now I get why celebrities in the entertainment industry struggle with issues, think the drugs,sex and all. Because they are constantly being judged, put on a pedestral to be someone other than who they truly are on the inside. They desire to find acceptance and yet time and time again they get disappointed because people simply refuse to accept them the way they are.



The desire for fame and popularity taken to extremes becomes fatalistic. My desire to find love and acceptance in my family, friends and society has caused my demise.



I want to find peace within myself. I want to love myself. I want to be myself, not the person that you want me to be, I want to exercise my free will that is sacred to Wendy, that no one can touch, not even the Almighty God Himself. This is my essence of being human. Take away my freedom to exercise my free will and I become a robot.... just like everyone else who will do things simply because other people asks them to. I feel like vomiting now, like literally. The very society that I believe in..... we sacrificed creativity and our human soul in the name of making more money, of being more economically viable... And I feel like a money making machine, mass produced. This could be my retribution. All the times I tried to change people so they could fit my mold. I realized that the very things that I stood for, by trying to make it better than things are with my all "higher ways".... has backfired.




Authenticity, do we value it at all? Or we want people who are just like us, if they are different, or they choose to do things differently, then they must be wrong?





I feel so beautiful
Can't no one tell me no
My life's a circus show
No matter where I go





























23 January 2010

When She's Looking I Fall Apart


I feel so suffocated I just had to blog it out.


My grandma is driving me up the wall with her incessant nagging. And I really mean INCESSANT. She don't just say it once or say it twice. She can say it 10 times a day!!! And I am NOT exaggerating. She wants to control what time I eat, sleep and shower........... and I'm not gonna give in to her. I am a free-spirit that doesn't want to be controlled. Maybe when I was 12 years old, she could do that, but not when I am a freaking 22-yr-old adult. I wish I can walk up to her, strike a Gaga-ish pose and say, " I'm a free bi*ch baby! " Hahahahahaha. Look at this video, I almost cried because I felt so much connection with the song and the performance. Blast up your speakers to max volume cos it's soft and you absolutely cannot miss the WOW effect at 4.08 mins!!





Edited Lyrics of Dance in the Dark

Silicone,
Saline,
Poison,
Inject me
and baby I'm a free
bi*ch;
I'm a free
bi*ch.

Some girls won't dance to the beat of the track.
She won't walk away, but she won't look back.
She looks good but her GRANDMA says she's a mess,
she's a mess,
she's a mess,
Now the girl is stressed.
she's a mess,
she's a mess,
she's a mess,
she's a mess.


Baby loves to dance in the dark,
'Cuz when she's lookin' she falls apart.
Baby loves to dance in the dark.



She looks good but her GRANDMA says she's a tramp,
she's a tramp,
she's a vamp,
but she still does her dance.
she's a tramp,
she's a vamp,
but she still kills the dance.



In the dark,
She loves to dance in the dark,
in the dark,
she loves, she loves to dance in the dark.

Marilyn,
Judy,
Sylvia,
Tell 'em how you feel girls.

Work your blonde
Benet Ramsey haunt like Liberace

Find your freedom in the music,
find your Jesus,

find your Cupid.

You will never fall apart,
Diana you're still in our hearts.

Never let you fall apart,
together we'll dance in the dark.




Hai.... In absolutes, be absolute, but in gray areas, give people the freedom to be who they like to be. Why don't they get it. HUGE generation gap. I hate dead traditions, hate controlling mindsets.


B. Darren once said, " In the presence of control, there can only be rebellion." Creative pple hate to be controlled, creative pple function differently from most people. Aiya, why do I even bother to explain. I am sick and tired of pple saying things that make me feel bad or guilty about myself. I am a good girl. A girl that doesn't smoke, doesn't gamble, doesn't steal, a girl of compassion that wants to help the less fortunate..... a girl that has a lot of ideas, a lot of big dreams.


I'm just not their typical traditional girl that cooks, cleans, washes and gives in to all their demands kind, and they just cannot accept it. They just can't love and accept me for who I am, who I really really am on the inside. But I've long given up on this desire already, cos I know them so well but they dunno peanuts about me.


Dear boyfriend, please marry me quickly. I am too poor now to rent a room of my own outside and it is too miserable and stressful for me to stay here. I need to come home to a shelter where I can let down my hair and breathe, where I can be free to be me after fighting my battles in the marketplace. My home is the last place I want a lot of noise and stress, it creates a huge psychological toll on me.  I beg you. Please hurrry. ='( Otherwise, I need to start spending an extra $600, $700 every month to rent a room and they might still haunt me down.


God, please help Aaron to help me and please help me to help Aaron and help myself cos I can't stay in this pseudo-home for long. I want to be let out of the cage. I want to fly. And I will do whatever it takes to get there.


If my bf says to me, " I'll  never let you fall apart, let's dance in the dark." I will melt... Ahhh, I'm a hopeful romantic!


Let's dance in the dark people. We never have to fall apart.

12 January 2010

Chase the Monday Blues Away!

Initially I thought there'll be no weekly meeting today since we just had one 4 days ago after boss came back from his Taiwan holiday! Alas, there still is one and at the start of it, boss shared about Invictus! Yay I'm so in flow with boss, I hope he will nag at me less!!! Hahahahaha! ANYWAY, he learnt 3 lessons from Invictus:

1. We always need to be motivated. Reading the poem was what keep the Nelson Mandela in the movie going throughout the 27 years of imprisonment!

2. Discipline. According to boss, Mandela would wake at 4.30am everyday, jog/walk at 5am, hit the office at 7am and work till late at night. If you ask me, that's definitely not the kind of life I want!

3. Big heart. Mandela forgave the whites who put him behind bars. After his release, he not only accepted and worked with them, but even won their trust.

I was bored during the meeting and so I was tweeting and I saw this!


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Sun with DJ Chichilarue


DJ Chichilarue is a transvestite and he or she is also a porn director! And of course I was initially surprised to see the photo but I am truly loving Sun because she does not discriminate! I've never had a friend who is gay, bisexual or anything other than the socially accepted norms but I pray that when the day comes, I will love and accept them as I would everyone else. :) No homophobia allowed! The Uganda government is crazy to want to sentence homosexuals to death! Homos are not human beings meh!? Siao! My respect for Sun went up another notch! Sun I salute you!

Since we're on this topic... Heard about the recent news of the "woman" who was molested by 3 men at a beach countdown party? According to the photos, she might be a transvestite but I can't say for sure. The issue however I think is not so much of whether he or she is trans but whether or not the person was willing to be touched and from this photo of he or she smiling, it says it all. So.... it's just Singaporeans making a big hoo ha out of nothing. Chey! If it's real molest taking place, I think S'poreans won't be so stupid to just look and not do anything about it right? I really hope not cos I cannot fathom such an inward-looking and selfish S'pore!

Talking about gays and the like...

I always wondered why many gays are so amazingly creative. Think hairdressers, fashion designers, etc and..... the crazily talented Lady Gaga, she was or still is bisexual. I post this question to my friends and I got these 2 responses:

1) My guy friend,"Gays are very creative meh? I don't think so."

2) My very intelligent female friend, "I think it's because gays have to take huge steps to break out of socially accepted norms due to their sexuality and in doing so, their creativity is unleashed!"


And recently I also thought of this theory:

3) Maybe many gays who were initially normal were fiercely creative right from the start but people didn't get them and didn't appreciate their creativity and as a result, it drove them to turn into other means of expressing themselves and they found it in being gay?

What say you? 

10 January 2010

I am the Captain of My Soul



Invictus is Latin for unconquered, a movie starring Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela. In the movie, Mandela is released from imprisonment after 27 years, is elected President of South Africa and attempts to eradicate racism and unite the blacks and the whites in what seemed like an impossible task. I dunno why, but I felt all emotional when he walked out of prison and when he said his vows during the swearing in ceremony! The poem Invictus, was what motivated Mandela's character to pull through his dark days in prison (though not true in real life). Shall not spoil it for you, go catch the movie!


Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of fate
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years finds
And shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.


Guess who wrote it!? 'At the age of 12, Henley became a victim of tuberculosis of the bone. A few years later the disease progressed to his foot, and physicians announced that the only way to save his life was to amputate directly below the knee. In 1867, he would successfully pass the Oxford local examination as a senior student. In 1875, he wrote the "Invictus" poem from a hospital bed. Despite his disability, he survived with one foot intact and led an active life until the age of 53.' (From Wikipedia)

Awesome!!! It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. Ah, I'm appreciating poetry again! Inspired! :)



08 January 2010

Gaga + Polaroid = Boomz!

I hope you've heard! Lady Gaga is now the Creative Director of Polaroid! Call it a publicity stunt but we shall see how the Lady resurrects Polaroid and wow us over! U know why I love Lady Gaga? Cos she is NEVER BORING. Always something fresh, always full of surprises. I for one, CANNOT STAND boring things. And so, Lady Gaga is like a breath of huge fresh air for me! Check out her interview with CNBC below on the new partnership, Gaga sure is a sophisticated woman!