My bf and I are good now btw, just in case you're worried or concern!
Many challenges have been taking place in my life the last few months. But it's all good. 1st of May 2010 marks the beginning of a new chapter in my life:
From this day forward, I will never wish that I can go to heaven quickly just cos living in this earth is too much for me to take.
For this day forward, I declare that I am free. Doesn't mean it won't be challenging from now on, but it just means that I am starting anew on a better foothold.
And I will continue to grit my teeth and fight. When I fall, I will get up again, and again and again and again and again.
Today, I make a commitment to myself and to you reading that I will never take my
own life which I had thought of in the past. I'm not even the sole proprietor of it to begin with. :)
That would have meant that the battle was lost, that I had not fulfilled what I say to you today. And I'll be kidding you if I told you that the battle ahead is easy.
Trust me, it's not. It's in fact, very, very intense at times. My enemies want to shut me down. They want me to stop trying. They want me to stop influencing. They want me to just throw in the towel and give in. But I declare today that they will not win.
If you are reading this, what you can do to help is to say a prayer for me and be encouraging towards me, pls, I beseech you, that keeps me alive more than you know it. Thank you. :)
If you are reading this, and you hate me, I can only say that one day I hope that you will come around. Because I didn't mean to upset you and hating doesn't make your life a better place. :)
I'm gonna break the ceiling.
Society and people try to box you in to conform to their image and their norms and deem you as a freak when you don't but the fact of the matter is this - You can never attain happiness or find joy in trying to become the person that other people want you to be, when that person is not who you would like for yourself deep down inside.
Society doesn't like people who are different, or who do things differently, who choose different paths, because many times to "them", 'different' is equivocal to wrong and that is furthest from the truth.
There are more than 6 billion different people in the world. Each with different abilities, interests, habits and dreams, who are we kidding?
Don't force yourself to give up the music that you so love just because they say it's not practical and just do what they want even though you know you will be terribly unhappy doing it. Don't. Resist the temptation to conform.
It's easy to conform. It's easy to
not be criticized and looked down by people,
very easy.
Go ahead and be fearless, be the person that you were meant to be all along. They are gonna hate you for it. But be fearless anyway. Chase after your dreams like you were gonna die tomorrow and don't let those dreamkillers stop you.
They'll catch up.
Think Lady Gaga. Her parents were so upset with her initially for wearing little clothes and prancing around in clubs (I think most Singaporeans would too), but look at her now, she's on the cover of Times Magazine for being one of top 100 Most Influential People in The World, just next to Bill Clinton.
Cool or what!? :)
I have not read or bought a single Times Magazine for more than 5 years but I'm gonna go pick up
that one. Cos Lady Gaga has influenced me to.
Now, her parents have caught up. And they are more than supportive.
Can you just imagine for one second if she had easily given up performing years ago just because her parents were not supportive of it?
Yes, the world would be a dull place without that free bitch in it. Just like the world will be a dull place without you in it. No, not the 'you' that others try and force you to become. The 'you' that you truly desire and enjoy being, that's the undiluted 'you'.
Definitely, love much and give much in the process but never forget to love yourself too in the meantime cos it can only work both ways. That is what it means to love your neighbor as you love yourself.
You can only do something that comes from your heart. Anything else will not last or it will only make you damn miserable after a while. And the worse thing that can happen is that rather than just kissing the frog, you end up marrying it. Don't! The prince is waiting for you!
Let's just face it, you will never be happy in being a people-pleaser and you can never meet up to all their expectations and demands.
Because if you know Economics, there are unlimited demands but only limited supply. It is not going to stop.
You can only become the person that God wants you to be and you need to release yourself from societal expectations for you to just be like everyone else you see.
Don't become diluted and lose your uniqueness.
Dig deep. Find out who you are, what you stand for as a person and where your passions lie.
And chase after it with every fiber of your being. That's what you were created to do.
You are gonna be mocked at, despised, criticized, rejected, unappreciated, misunderstood and hated. Even by those whom you call friends, by those whom you call family.
Very, very painful.
Extremely.
Do it anyway.
Because in the final analysis, it's not really between you and them, it's between you and you and you and Him.
At the end of the day, you want to touch your heart and say, I am happy with myself, I am at peace with myself. I love myself. I am who I am supposed to be and live is worth living. Life is so fulfilling.
It's a new day for me, my dear friends and readers.
I wish that your days will be filled with much love, happiness and purpose.
That doesn't mean there's not gonna have suffering and pain along the way. It just means that when the rubber meets the road, it's all gonna be worthwhile.
The dash between the year that you were born and the year that you are gonna die is gonna be a life lived beautifully, authentically, happily and lovingly. And that will effect in more of other such lives.
Because you become powerful and influential when you are hammered and shaped into the very person that you were made to be and many others' lives will be deeply touched and impacted.
There's not another of you in the world. You're the only one. So don't give in to that opposing force that tries to make you fit in like a mass factory product and conveniently tells you, "That's life, just live with it and shut up."
Whatever for?
No one knows or understands your dreams more than you yourself. No one.
You are the best you and there's nothing they can do about it.
So you can be free, truly, truly free.
I will look back and remember this day and this entry. May you have these memorable pivotal points in your life too.
May you find your niche and not be squeezed by "them" into an ugly box that you can't even fit into!
The sky is the limit, and the world? Your playground.
The desire to die quickly was me trying to take the easy way out. But not anymore.
Let's enjoy the journey together cos I still want to live and fulfill my purpose here on earth before I go home to be with Jesus. And I have a great one. I can feel the strong sense of God's calling upon my life... always have.
I think I have a looottt more to accomplish, my time is not up and I will live a good many years. :)
YAYS! Haha. <3
Much Love,
Lady Wen
